The season is changing. Wishful thoughts about one more day that spreads sunshine and warmth on the land is magic that will not be mine. At least, not today. Rain is glazing the deck. Browning leaves paste to the sidewalks and stamp on to rain drenched shoes. Fall is finding a home here.
I'm a holiday person. I love Halloween. I wish I could say that I love the ghouls and the ghosties. I wish that the flavor of sugar babies and wrapped orange and brown taffy thrilled me. I do love Halloween, but not for the costumes and the candies. I love the shadow of Halloween. The leaving of the hallowed eve marches in the Season of Joy for my family and for me.
Joy dances through the Thanksgiving day. The dance continues with great color and light until we are together to celebrate the joy of Christmas.
Ahhh, today. The drizzles and the tangles of the rain and the wind. I will pull a sweater out of the closet, walk through the maze of leaves and pine needles.
I will stroll of walk of gratitude ... for all that I have, for all that I wish for and for that which I have been given. For no apparent reason, I have been given much!
Monday, October 10, 2011
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
The best part? The laughter!
The truest joy in life is created in the simplicity of a day. When faced with an empty summer afternoon, no worries. Fun is just a sprinkler away.
Ask your kids to change into their bathing suits. Place towels on the dry grass. Turn the sprinkler on and yell in your loudest sprinkler-running voice ... 'run for it!' That means mommy and daddy, too. Everyone is involved in the sprinkles. What comes next? Lots and lots of laughter.
Dare to challenge your kids to a water fight. Old syrup, ketchup (or is it catsup), and mustard bottles can be used for weapons of splash destruction. You may even use the traditional squirt gun or water balloon. Run fast. You'll find that your kids will run faster. Hide. Yep, your kids will hide better. What's the best part .... the laughter!
Too busy to camp at your favorite ground? How about making your home your favorite campground. Pull your tent out of storage. Set it up in the backyard. Roast hot dogs on your bar-b-que. Sleeping bags and a lantern will make your home site a friendly camping site. Complete the camp scene with stories and special s'mores ... oh, and what else? Laughter.
Summer fun begins where every other fun thing begins ... at home. Have fun and don't forget the best part ... the LAUGHTER!!
Ask your kids to change into their bathing suits. Place towels on the dry grass. Turn the sprinkler on and yell in your loudest sprinkler-running voice ... 'run for it!' That means mommy and daddy, too. Everyone is involved in the sprinkles. What comes next? Lots and lots of laughter.
Dare to challenge your kids to a water fight. Old syrup, ketchup (or is it catsup), and mustard bottles can be used for weapons of splash destruction. You may even use the traditional squirt gun or water balloon. Run fast. You'll find that your kids will run faster. Hide. Yep, your kids will hide better. What's the best part .... the laughter!
Too busy to camp at your favorite ground? How about making your home your favorite campground. Pull your tent out of storage. Set it up in the backyard. Roast hot dogs on your bar-b-que. Sleeping bags and a lantern will make your home site a friendly camping site. Complete the camp scene with stories and special s'mores ... oh, and what else? Laughter.
Summer fun begins where every other fun thing begins ... at home. Have fun and don't forget the best part ... the LAUGHTER!!
Sunday, July 24, 2011
Just sing! Sing a song!
Counting to ten, leaving the room, breathing in and breathing out ... these are techniques used to calm a situation that gets even the best of the most calm.
Try my technique. I promise it will be fun ... here we go!
How about a song. A silly song. In fact, the sillier and crazier, the better. Put a spin on a request. I'll show you how. I wanted to ask my son Brian to help me clean a mess in the toy room. And so, I would sing. One of my favorite tunes is Twinkle Twinkle, little star. I would stand in my most creative (silly) posture and begin ...
Brian, Brian, Brian dear ... would you please come over here. See this mess ... my oh my ... it will be clean as time goes by ... Brian, Brian, Brian dear ... I need your help right over here.
The fun is just beginning. Every song needs another voice. Brian would sing back to me, using his child size opera tone. (Sometimes I had to remind him that I would only accept a response in a song.)
We laughed and laughed and then we accomplished the task together. Next time you need a little help and want the mood to be light and fun ... pick a tune, any tune ... the more child-like the better. Invite your child to play (and work) along.
Parenting is fun ... when you sing! Just sing a song!
Try my technique. I promise it will be fun ... here we go!
How about a song. A silly song. In fact, the sillier and crazier, the better. Put a spin on a request. I'll show you how. I wanted to ask my son Brian to help me clean a mess in the toy room. And so, I would sing. One of my favorite tunes is Twinkle Twinkle, little star. I would stand in my most creative (silly) posture and begin ...
Brian, Brian, Brian dear ... would you please come over here. See this mess ... my oh my ... it will be clean as time goes by ... Brian, Brian, Brian dear ... I need your help right over here.
The fun is just beginning. Every song needs another voice. Brian would sing back to me, using his child size opera tone. (Sometimes I had to remind him that I would only accept a response in a song.)
We laughed and laughed and then we accomplished the task together. Next time you need a little help and want the mood to be light and fun ... pick a tune, any tune ... the more child-like the better. Invite your child to play (and work) along.
Parenting is fun ... when you sing! Just sing a song!
Monday, July 11, 2011
Laughter is the best policy
During the early years of parenting, advice is often easily --- and always freely given. So many wise people, some self designated, with so many words of wisdom. What words should a parent cherish? What advice should be followed?
Laughter. That's it. After all is said and done, laughter is the only word to remember. Laughter truly is the best policy. Laughter is the only way to parent!
I remember all those years ago, barking out a command to my child. It was a rough day. I was frazzled around the edges. Barking would be a polite word to describe the voice that squeezed from my lips. I could tell from my child's sweet face that he was not in the mood for barking or any other animal noise that came from his dear mommy.
There was no surprise. My child barked back. A rough and tough four year-old, he looked me square in the eyes. Solidly planting his little baby toes on the ground, he threw one little word back at me. He shouted in his deepest toddler voice, 'no.'
My first reaction would be to play a little rough and tumble. I would make my voice heard and my command acted upon. Yes, that would be my first reaction.
My second reaction, which is usually the reaction to cherish, was to use drama. I love drama. I adopted a worn line from a movie. I pointed my finger at my little man child and said with a sway in my hips and a stagger from my lips, "You talkin' to me? Is that YOU talkin' to me? I say little man, is that You TALKIN' to ME?
My child looked at me, wondering what or whom I was ... I looked at him. I love this little guy. His funny little face contorted, staring into my eyes, wondering what his mommy would do. I started laughing. I realized that I sounded as foolish as I looked. I laughed out loud. My child, understanding that mommy was falling off her dramatic little rocker, laughed.
I wrapped my arms around my little boy. We both, in harmonious noise, repeated, "You talkin' to me?
Ahhh yes, laughter. Laughter is ALWAYS the best policy!
Laughter. That's it. After all is said and done, laughter is the only word to remember. Laughter truly is the best policy. Laughter is the only way to parent!
I remember all those years ago, barking out a command to my child. It was a rough day. I was frazzled around the edges. Barking would be a polite word to describe the voice that squeezed from my lips. I could tell from my child's sweet face that he was not in the mood for barking or any other animal noise that came from his dear mommy.
There was no surprise. My child barked back. A rough and tough four year-old, he looked me square in the eyes. Solidly planting his little baby toes on the ground, he threw one little word back at me. He shouted in his deepest toddler voice, 'no.'
My first reaction would be to play a little rough and tumble. I would make my voice heard and my command acted upon. Yes, that would be my first reaction.
My second reaction, which is usually the reaction to cherish, was to use drama. I love drama. I adopted a worn line from a movie. I pointed my finger at my little man child and said with a sway in my hips and a stagger from my lips, "You talkin' to me? Is that YOU talkin' to me? I say little man, is that You TALKIN' to ME?
My child looked at me, wondering what or whom I was ... I looked at him. I love this little guy. His funny little face contorted, staring into my eyes, wondering what his mommy would do. I started laughing. I realized that I sounded as foolish as I looked. I laughed out loud. My child, understanding that mommy was falling off her dramatic little rocker, laughed.
I wrapped my arms around my little boy. We both, in harmonious noise, repeated, "You talkin' to me?
Ahhh yes, laughter. Laughter is ALWAYS the best policy!
Monday, January 11, 2010
Go Mommy -- GO!
This life of mine includes days filled with emotional sunshine, gray confusion, and seemingly unending challenges. Knuckled in with regrets and a little ‘mommy’ guilt, there are accomplishments of which I am proud. One of my life’s greatest challenges continues to be a battle with food. Long, long ago I did something right. I exercised. I exercised some more. After cramping, aching and complaining, I continued to exercise. The first chapter of this story showed me standing at 5’ 8”. My weight was a sturdy 240 lbs. I wore a whopping size 24. After losing 90 pounds I have managed to keep the pounds away from me. Here is my story.
I am well rehearsed in the discussion of dieting. I could counsel the obese on the values of shopping the outer perimeter of the store. I would tell them to stay away from boxed foods. “Eat foods that once shared oxygen on this planet of ours,” I would say. I have been there, and I have done more than all of that. I was a human rubber band. Every time I dieted I was successful. I would lose a whopping 50 pounds each time. After dieting (starving), I would eat myself back to the previous weight and typically add another 10 pounds. After too much dieting and weight gain, I decided that I would never diet again.
My sister-in-law invited me to be a bridesmaid. Delighted, I accepted without hesitation. In a gentle and understanding whisper she added that the dresses she loved were not as big as the dress size I wore (24). The largest size was a 16. I held my breath, counted to 10 and said that I would lose that weight. I knew I could do it. I had lost large amounts of weight so many times before in my life.
My personal relationship with obesity changed that day. Like many others committed to a healthy life, I belonged to a health club. I found excuses for delaying exercise every day. It was too late. The kids needed to be driven to their games or activity. I was tired. I was hungry. I didn’t have the right clothes. I promised myself each day that I would begin fresh tomorrow. Tomorrow sometimes happened very late in the week. I created failure every day.
I made the decision to change my routine. It simply wasn’t working for me. I would not travel to the gym. The door to my workout would be the same door I walked through every day, my front door. Beyond that door I would walk, run or crawl every day. My kids were excited that I was going to begin the challenge of losing weight. Kids love activity and so playing outside was right up their alley. I challenged them to ‘play’ with me. My youngest daughter was 6 years old. My two sons were 7 1/2 and 10 years old. My oldest daughter was 12 years old. They’re kids. They loved to run. They dared me to race.
I was grateful for the kid excitement, enthusiasm and electricity. They didn’t see the huge pending doom. They didn’t know that every step I walked I would pray for another step forward. Carrying an extra 90 pounds around our family-created track seemed to be more of a challenge than I could tolerate. I looked at their faces. They were proud of me. They were excited to be part of my play time. They gave me what I needed most, hope.
I sent my wild beasts off to begin the run. They agreed to stagger at different points of the ‘run.’ We created a ‘track’ where every child was visible. My two older children would ‘race’ to the end of the stretch. They would ‘race’ back and meet me at the 1/4 point. My two other children would run ahead of me and wait at the 1/2 point. When I arrived at their points, we would high five. They would pat me on the back and yell how great I was doing. Delighted, my children would run ahead of me again. Yelling, ‘go mommy go’, ‘you can do it mommy’, and ‘you’re almost here,’ were words spoken by my child trainers. Every step I managed was followed by more steps forward.
The first few weeks I struggled to walk. When comfortable with the walking, I added a bit of a hop. Finally, I graduated to jogging. I would say that I eventually ran, but that would be teasing the definition of the word. At my finest hour my kids clocked me in at a 10 minute mile. We were very excited. I was shocked!
My children made a personal commitment to exercise great family time. They were so proud of my accomplishments. They clocked each other. We high fived each other and congratulated our success. It was fun running in the rain, the sun … and no, it is never fun to run in the snow. We did it. They cheered me through the tough spots.
My sister-in-law’s wedding happened. I wore a size 16 dress. The wedding was more than 16 years ago. I am no longer in a size 16. I now wear a size 12. The battle continues. Self talk commits my routine to almost daily exercise and good nutrition. There are bleeps and gaps and guilty snafus in the regimen, but I know that I am not a fat person working to get thin. I am a healthy person working to stay healthy.
My children are older. They have their own front doors. Soon they will high five with their children when they all go out to play. Visualizing is an effective and necessary tool during my daily workouts. My imagination brings my children back to our front door where my life’s challenge began. I imagine when I work out that I am jogging to catch up to my four children. A quarter of the way into my workout I am high fiving two kids. Midst the drudgery of each step ‘forward’ I can hear them in my heart. As I imagine coming round the final loop, I high five my other two children who jump up and down waiting for me. I can hear them, “Go mommy, go!” “You’re almost here.” “Mommy, you can do it!”
Because of my four children, my workout partners, my life has never been the same!
I am well rehearsed in the discussion of dieting. I could counsel the obese on the values of shopping the outer perimeter of the store. I would tell them to stay away from boxed foods. “Eat foods that once shared oxygen on this planet of ours,” I would say. I have been there, and I have done more than all of that. I was a human rubber band. Every time I dieted I was successful. I would lose a whopping 50 pounds each time. After dieting (starving), I would eat myself back to the previous weight and typically add another 10 pounds. After too much dieting and weight gain, I decided that I would never diet again.
My sister-in-law invited me to be a bridesmaid. Delighted, I accepted without hesitation. In a gentle and understanding whisper she added that the dresses she loved were not as big as the dress size I wore (24). The largest size was a 16. I held my breath, counted to 10 and said that I would lose that weight. I knew I could do it. I had lost large amounts of weight so many times before in my life.
My personal relationship with obesity changed that day. Like many others committed to a healthy life, I belonged to a health club. I found excuses for delaying exercise every day. It was too late. The kids needed to be driven to their games or activity. I was tired. I was hungry. I didn’t have the right clothes. I promised myself each day that I would begin fresh tomorrow. Tomorrow sometimes happened very late in the week. I created failure every day.
I made the decision to change my routine. It simply wasn’t working for me. I would not travel to the gym. The door to my workout would be the same door I walked through every day, my front door. Beyond that door I would walk, run or crawl every day. My kids were excited that I was going to begin the challenge of losing weight. Kids love activity and so playing outside was right up their alley. I challenged them to ‘play’ with me. My youngest daughter was 6 years old. My two sons were 7 1/2 and 10 years old. My oldest daughter was 12 years old. They’re kids. They loved to run. They dared me to race.
I was grateful for the kid excitement, enthusiasm and electricity. They didn’t see the huge pending doom. They didn’t know that every step I walked I would pray for another step forward. Carrying an extra 90 pounds around our family-created track seemed to be more of a challenge than I could tolerate. I looked at their faces. They were proud of me. They were excited to be part of my play time. They gave me what I needed most, hope.
I sent my wild beasts off to begin the run. They agreed to stagger at different points of the ‘run.’ We created a ‘track’ where every child was visible. My two older children would ‘race’ to the end of the stretch. They would ‘race’ back and meet me at the 1/4 point. My two other children would run ahead of me and wait at the 1/2 point. When I arrived at their points, we would high five. They would pat me on the back and yell how great I was doing. Delighted, my children would run ahead of me again. Yelling, ‘go mommy go’, ‘you can do it mommy’, and ‘you’re almost here,’ were words spoken by my child trainers. Every step I managed was followed by more steps forward.
The first few weeks I struggled to walk. When comfortable with the walking, I added a bit of a hop. Finally, I graduated to jogging. I would say that I eventually ran, but that would be teasing the definition of the word. At my finest hour my kids clocked me in at a 10 minute mile. We were very excited. I was shocked!
My children made a personal commitment to exercise great family time. They were so proud of my accomplishments. They clocked each other. We high fived each other and congratulated our success. It was fun running in the rain, the sun … and no, it is never fun to run in the snow. We did it. They cheered me through the tough spots.
My sister-in-law’s wedding happened. I wore a size 16 dress. The wedding was more than 16 years ago. I am no longer in a size 16. I now wear a size 12. The battle continues. Self talk commits my routine to almost daily exercise and good nutrition. There are bleeps and gaps and guilty snafus in the regimen, but I know that I am not a fat person working to get thin. I am a healthy person working to stay healthy.
My children are older. They have their own front doors. Soon they will high five with their children when they all go out to play. Visualizing is an effective and necessary tool during my daily workouts. My imagination brings my children back to our front door where my life’s challenge began. I imagine when I work out that I am jogging to catch up to my four children. A quarter of the way into my workout I am high fiving two kids. Midst the drudgery of each step ‘forward’ I can hear them in my heart. As I imagine coming round the final loop, I high five my other two children who jump up and down waiting for me. I can hear them, “Go mommy, go!” “You’re almost here.” “Mommy, you can do it!”
Because of my four children, my workout partners, my life has never been the same!
Friday, November 20, 2009
Holidays are for families
Thanksgiving is not a solo experience. Everyone should be involved in the wonderful task of creating a table where you gather to celebrate family. From the smallest hands to the most wrinkled smile, there is a task for all.
Dining in style
When my children were small we didn’t have a dining room. Wanting the holiday to feel different and special, my husband suggested that we move dinner into the living room. Our living room was not exceptionally large. When we moved the table there was not much ‘wiggle’ room. The table sat squarely, looking a bit crunched, couches on either side seeming to push the chairs snugly under the table. We looked at the tight space, smiled and agreed. “This is pretty special.” After that first holiday, the kids looked at their dad excitedly every time a holiday rolled around. They knew it was time to move the table.
Setting the atmosphere
I love the essence and the magical flavor of Thanksgiving. Light a candle that smells of cinnamon or pumpkin. No candles? Slice apples in a pan with a bit of cinnamon. Cover with water and simmer. The aroma will offer warmth and will serve to relax.
Table ‘cloth’
Set a table that screams ‘we are special.’ You may have a beautiful table cloth. Save the cloth for later. Just for fun, purchase a giant inexpensive plain paper tablecloth from a card shop. Send kids outside searching for the most beautiful leaves. Show your children how to cover the leaves with a sheet of paper. Ask them to press crayons over the top and then trace the leaves. Cut out the new beautiful leaves and tape or glue them to the paper table ‘cloth.’ Kids will have fun creating rainbow colored leaves for their Thanksgiving table.
Centerpiece
A thanksgiving idea: place individual framed photos of everyone in your family in the center of the table. (You can purchase inexpensive frames at Dollar stores. When your kids ask why the pictures are there, just smile. After sitting down to enjoy your Thanksgiving meal, direct your family to the photos. Remind them that these pictures are the people you are most grateful for on this holiday and every day. Your family will love it.
Name cards
It is always fun to make place cards. Children may stylize each card. Ask them to find a picture or to draw a picture that describes why they are grateful for each person. Place the picture on the corresponding place card.
Napkin rings
The rings we cut out of construction paper and glued together to make long strings for a Christmas tree will also work as a napkin ring. Use different colors. Add colored yarn to make each ring unique.
Setting the table
Use the holiday to show your children how to set the table for a formal family dinner. Fork on one side and knife and spoon on the other. Place a beautiful glass (they don’t have to match, eclectic is always in fashion).
Dining in style
When my children were small we didn’t have a dining room. Wanting the holiday to feel different and special, my husband suggested that we move dinner into the living room. Our living room was not exceptionally large. When we moved the table there was not much ‘wiggle’ room. The table sat squarely, looking a bit crunched, couches on either side seeming to push the chairs snugly under the table. We looked at the tight space, smiled and agreed. “This is pretty special.” After that first holiday, the kids looked at their dad excitedly every time a holiday rolled around. They knew it was time to move the table.
Setting the atmosphere
I love the essence and the magical flavor of Thanksgiving. Light a candle that smells of cinnamon or pumpkin. No candles? Slice apples in a pan with a bit of cinnamon. Cover with water and simmer. The aroma will offer warmth and will serve to relax.
Table ‘cloth’
Set a table that screams ‘we are special.’ You may have a beautiful table cloth. Save the cloth for later. Just for fun, purchase a giant inexpensive plain paper tablecloth from a card shop. Send kids outside searching for the most beautiful leaves. Show your children how to cover the leaves with a sheet of paper. Ask them to press crayons over the top and then trace the leaves. Cut out the new beautiful leaves and tape or glue them to the paper table ‘cloth.’ Kids will have fun creating rainbow colored leaves for their Thanksgiving table.
Centerpiece
A thanksgiving idea: place individual framed photos of everyone in your family in the center of the table. (You can purchase inexpensive frames at Dollar stores. When your kids ask why the pictures are there, just smile. After sitting down to enjoy your Thanksgiving meal, direct your family to the photos. Remind them that these pictures are the people you are most grateful for on this holiday and every day. Your family will love it.
Name cards
It is always fun to make place cards. Children may stylize each card. Ask them to find a picture or to draw a picture that describes why they are grateful for each person. Place the picture on the corresponding place card.
Napkin rings
The rings we cut out of construction paper and glued together to make long strings for a Christmas tree will also work as a napkin ring. Use different colors. Add colored yarn to make each ring unique.
Setting the table
Use the holiday to show your children how to set the table for a formal family dinner. Fork on one side and knife and spoon on the other. Place a beautiful glass (they don’t have to match, eclectic is always in fashion).
Another wonderful Holiday
The room smells of wonderful Thanksgiving spice. Autumn leaves decorate a table that is magnificently set for the most wonderful people in the world, your family!
Enjoy!
The room smells of wonderful Thanksgiving spice. Autumn leaves decorate a table that is magnificently set for the most wonderful people in the world, your family!
Enjoy!
Monday, November 9, 2009
I knew I was loved
My name is Mary Helen Black. For the past 16 years I have published kids newspaper, a monthly publication that is distributed to 30,000 families through the elementary schools in Spokane, Washington. Kids newspaper gives a shout out to all that is excellent in the schools, our community and the lives of the families who live here. I am honored to report that in our fine city by the river, there are many people who care about the most important members of our community, our children.
This is to the end of that which I will write about. It is also the beginning of the words that you will see. My job is valuable. I hold the title of publisher dear. The most important role that I will play on this planet of ours is that of mother. Children are our hope, they are our future. As parents, we hold the power of the universe in our hands. Our children, because of our guidance, may walk the planet touching others with compassion and kindness. It is in our tender care that children learn to love and how to give love in return.
I am blessed to count the four most wonderful people I have ever met my own dear children. My kids are older now. The times of diaper changing, late night feedings and the daily fight for my own survival have become part of my family’s history.
My son is a proud Idaho Vandal. He played football for the team. A proud mother of this vandal, he would often remind me that football wasn’t everything. He had talents other than those I saw played out on the field. As I sit today, I am reminded that during those games, those exciting times as his biggest fan, football seemed to be everything.
While driving to the University of Idaho I was given a treasure of time to talk with this son of many talents. I talked with him of our lives, and how amazed I was to have four incredible children. I asked him why he thought that my four children were so good, so kind, and so compassionate! They have courage to take huge steps in life. They are equipped to match failure with even greater success.
The words he said to me are words that I hold dear. With a warm smile he said that every day he was hugged by his father and by me. Every day he was told that he was loved more than anything and anyone in the world. Every day he faced the world knowing that the two most important people in his life loved him without reserve and without condition.
And so today, hug your child. Tell your child he is loved more than anything or anyone in the world. Hold him tight and tell him you are blessed to be his parent. Send him out to the world knowing the most important thing in the world, he is loved!
This is to the end of that which I will write about. It is also the beginning of the words that you will see. My job is valuable. I hold the title of publisher dear. The most important role that I will play on this planet of ours is that of mother. Children are our hope, they are our future. As parents, we hold the power of the universe in our hands. Our children, because of our guidance, may walk the planet touching others with compassion and kindness. It is in our tender care that children learn to love and how to give love in return.
I am blessed to count the four most wonderful people I have ever met my own dear children. My kids are older now. The times of diaper changing, late night feedings and the daily fight for my own survival have become part of my family’s history.
My son is a proud Idaho Vandal. He played football for the team. A proud mother of this vandal, he would often remind me that football wasn’t everything. He had talents other than those I saw played out on the field. As I sit today, I am reminded that during those games, those exciting times as his biggest fan, football seemed to be everything.
While driving to the University of Idaho I was given a treasure of time to talk with this son of many talents. I talked with him of our lives, and how amazed I was to have four incredible children. I asked him why he thought that my four children were so good, so kind, and so compassionate! They have courage to take huge steps in life. They are equipped to match failure with even greater success.
The words he said to me are words that I hold dear. With a warm smile he said that every day he was hugged by his father and by me. Every day he was told that he was loved more than anything and anyone in the world. Every day he faced the world knowing that the two most important people in his life loved him without reserve and without condition.
And so today, hug your child. Tell your child he is loved more than anything or anyone in the world. Hold him tight and tell him you are blessed to be his parent. Send him out to the world knowing the most important thing in the world, he is loved!
It does not matter that you are the best parent every day.
It matters that you tell your child of your love … every day!
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